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Ahoy Dweezil! Don't get me wrong - I'm touched, really. But Cap'n Slappy is not the marryin' kind o' pirate. No single pirate nude man soul can teen fuker nude girls photo possess me! Not even a couple o' souls! Now, perhaps the entire University o' Nebraska marching band could possess me.
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In cleaning things up for a new year, we've pulled out some of our favorite "Ask Cap'n Slappy" questions and responses to preserve for posterity (or at least the Internet version of posterity). Enjoy! Topics Pirattitude Advice to the Lovelorn The Diabolical Eight-Ball of Destiny.